


Belonging

by GoringWriting



Series: Lancewain Discord Monthly Prompts [1]
Category: Cursed (TV 2020)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Western, Blood, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Injury, Insults, M/M, Picnics, Religious Guilt, Slut Shaming, Sneaking Around, The Weeping Monk | Lancelot-Centric (Cursed)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:59:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28791360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoringWriting/pseuds/GoringWriting
Summary: Lancelot knows the way Father treats him is wrong but he doesn't have a place to go. Will a wild wild performer help him leave the only home he's known?Lancewain Discord Monthly Prompts
Relationships: Gawain | The Green Knight/The Weeping Monk | Lancelot (Cursed)
Series: Lancewain Discord Monthly Prompts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2110875
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	Belonging

Lancelot looks up from where he’s handing out the leaflets of the church to a few visitors as the carriage rolls through the street. The wagon is covered in bright paint and a bunch of signs. The people inside the wagon are all of different sorts. There’s men and women of different heights and weights and races and there’s even a boy there tugging on the sleeve of one of the larger men with red hair. 

Lancelot looks away before he can be caught staring by the visitors or by Father. His knuckles have barely just healed from the last time he was caught doing something out of turn. He doesn’t want a repeat. 

“Boy, go hand then leaflets!” Father says and Lancelot makes his way over to the wagon. The sun beating down on him but he doesn’t dare loosen his collar. Not with Father so close.

It's obvious he wasn't paying attention because otherwise he would never be sent to a wagon so obviously against God.

“Welcome to town. We look forward to having you in services on Sunday,” Lancelot says to the man at the front of the wagon. The one the boy is clinging to and he takes the leaflet. 

“Church isn’t really our sort of thing but I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing you again. Name’s Gawain,” the man says and Lancelot feels his cheeks heat up a bit at the look the larger man is giving him. It’s a look he’s seen often on men and women when looking for sin. Lancelot has never been the recipient of such a look and he prays he never will. He already bears the marks of his parents sin, he does not need to add more of his own. The punishment would be horrifying. 

The man has a brightly colored scarf in green and a green hat upon his head. Lancelot has seen a lot of cowboys in his day. Hard not to when you hand out leaflets to everyone you pass. And he has not once seen a green one. 

Other than that the man is dressed similarly enough to others. Hide where it's supposed to be and denim in it's proper place. The boy is dressed appropriately.

Now that he's closer, Lancelot can see that the women are wearing pants. One of whom seems to be bickering with the darker man.

Father is not going to like that.

"Welcome to Woodend. The church hosts meetings three times a day and more on the Lord's Day," Lancelot says handing the man a few leaflets and waiting for questions or to be insulted. It's the norm after all.

"And do you attend these meetings?" The man, Gawain, asks eyes still holding that sinlike quality. 

"I attend the meetings Father wants me to," Lancelot says, usually that's all of them and the special ones for the people that work in the church.

"I will certainly have to attend if it means getting to see more of you," Gawain says and the boy rolls his eyes. Lancelot is saved from having to answer by Father shoving him away.

"Go hand out more leaflets boy," he says glaring at the travelers. Lancelot lowers his head and moves to another group of people. He can head father renouncing their sin and demanding they repent. 

Lancelot tries not to but when he heard Father's sermon begin to end he looks up. 

The people in the wagon all look irritated. Including Gawain. But when their eyes meet the man grins and winks at him.

And then asks Father where the brothel is.

The shock nearly startled him enough to laugh but he bites down on it quickly. Father stands there sputtering as they disembark the wagon and head into town towards their destination.

Father is trembling with anger as he grabs Lancelot's arm and pulls him towards the church.

"You are not to speak to those people again am I understood boy?"

"Yes father."

"Good. Now you must repent for speaking to them. A sin by association is the worst sin," Father says.

"I thought that was lust?" Lancelot asks and a hand knocks the back of the head.

"Twenty more for backtalk."

Lancelot knows not to say anything else as he's pulled into the church the the door locked.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Lancelot eases his window open and looks out into the night. It's dark. Dark enough for him to go unnoticed. So he slips out of his window and reaches for the tree that it there. Father keeps saying he's going to cut it down but never does.

If he knew what purpose it served the tree would be gone in an instant and Lancelot likely worse for wear but if he doesn't do this his hand will be worse.

He bites his cheek to keep a hiss of pain in his mouth as he grips a branch with his bloody hand and slowly climbs to the ground.

He leans against the side of the church to catch his breath and then makes his way behind the buildings to the back of the saloon. Why Pym is just the barmaid she's also a damn fine doctor. And much more discreet than the idiot further down the road. Who earned Lancelot thirty lashings the first time he visited him in secret.

Lancelot knocks on the door with his uninjured hand and waits. The saloon is closed so Pym should be in the back part waiting for patients... waiting for Lancelot.

It's not Pym who opens the door. It's Gawain and Lancelot wishes he was able to make a noise other than a soft gasp.

Pym knocks the larger man out of the way and pulls him inside.

"Gwaine, I told you to let me answer the door. People come to me because I'm discreet. They certainly aren't coming for you," she says and Lancelot does his level best to ignore the man. Focusing on Pym as she unwraps the hastily applied bandage and reveals his bleeding hands with long bloody lines along the back and palm.

"What did he say it was this time?" Pym asks dabbing it with water and Lancelot hisses a bit.

"Sin by association. I spoke to sinners so I needed to repent...and then for talking back," Lancelot admits softly.

"Lancelot you know this isn't right. You know this is not how you should be treated," Pym says.

"Not tonight Pym. My back hurts and I don't really feel like talking about it," Lancelot says eyes flicking towards Gawain before he can stop them.

"I..was it because you spoke to us? When we arrived in town?" Gawain asks.

"No," Lancelot says.

"Probably," Pym says and Lancelot looks at her betrayed.

"What? He already knew it. Your denial meant nothing. Now, honest answer time. Did he do your back...or did you?"

"He did it this time," Lancelot admits softly and she nods as she wraps the bandage around his hand and then goes to remove his shirt.

"What?" She demands when he rears back. His eyes frantically not looking at Gawain.

"Gawain get out. This part required privacy," she says and the man huffs but leaves the little medical area in the back of the saloon.

She makes, thankfully, quick work of his back. Bandaging it up and showing him how to keep it clean. And Lancelot is quickly redressed.

"You know," she says when he goes to leave, "Gawain is a good guy. I knew him and the others before I got married and settled down here. They're like a family and always willing to take in new members."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"I know you know this is not how you deserve to be treated. You're too smart for that. I also know that you won't leave because you have no where to go. Just think about it," she says and Lancelot steps out into the night. He has no idea what he's supposed to think about. What does Gawain's ragtag family have to do with his fear of being alone?

Climbing up the tree is even more painful than climbing down. But he manages and slips back into his room. Quietly shutting the window and laying in bed. There's an hour till sunrise and two until Father will come to wake him up. Lancelot has perfected the art of waking before the call so he can reasonably be believed to already be dressed.

If Father sees the bandages on his back he'll end up needing more.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

The next day Lancelot is sent out to collect donations for the roof. It's both his favorite and least favorite thing to do.

Favorite because he gets to do it unaccompanied meaning he can be a bit more relaxed with Father no longer breathing over his shoulder and least because people slam their doors in his face.

But not even cruel words can make him feel bad when he has a few blessed hours to himself.

He's just finished with the Judge. When an hand pulls him in between two buildings.

"Hello," Gawain says and Lancelot tries to breath a little.

"Look you know I am interested in you. If you're interested as well sneak out the same time as last night," he says running a finger along Lancelot's cheek and then exiting the area towards the back of town. 

Lancelot stands there touching his cheek for a moment before exiting back into the road and going about his duties. The next house, one of the ones he was between, belongs to a girl named Iris, who frankly frightens him with how much she follows Father's teachings. She doesn't answer.

Lancelot moves on.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Sneaking out that night is easy. It was the decision to do so that was difficult. Lancelot spent hours between supper and bed agonizing over the decision of whether to go. 

In the end it came down to his own curiosity. There was something enthralling about the man. A hint of belonging that Lancelot has only felt with Pym and her husband. 

He likes feeling like he belongs.

So as soon as his feet touch the dirt he smiles up at the man doing a poor job of hiding behind a tree with his green hat and scarf. The moon just enough to see by.

"Come along. I believe you might enjoy a picnic," Gawain says and Lancelot knows this is Pym's doing.

They walk a bit away from town. Close enough to walk back but not enough to be seen. A blanket already laying on the dirt and a basket there as well.

"Have a seat please," Gawain says and Lancelot sits and then Gawain joins him. Pulling out small meats and cheeses. It's more food than Lancelot gets in a week. He also knows exactly where it comes from.

"Pym let you into her food stores?" 

"Of course. She wanted me to treat you right," Gawain says and strokes a knuckle down Lancelot's cheek. Tracing the marks there.

"Your eyes are lovely," Gawain says.

"Father says that it is a mark of my parents sin. That I weep for the sin that bore me."

"He is wrong. Nothing so beautiful could be associated with sin," he says.

"I...my name's Lancelot...I never told you it. So this is me telling you my name..." Lancelot stammers. Anything to distance himself from the statement.

"Hello Lancelot. I'm Gawain. Part of a traveling group of performers," he says.

"What do you do?" 

"Magic," he says and Lancelot tries to pull away. 

"It's slight of hand and mind tricks mostly. A little bit if secret physical trickery as well. Nothing to worry about."

"It sounds nice," Lancelot says.

"Do you want to see a magic trick?" Gawain asks suddenly.

"What sort?"

"I will make the whole world disappear," he says and Lancelot chuckles. There's no way he can do that.

"Go ahead," Lancelot says and suddenly there are lips on his.

The kiss isn't demanding but nor is it chaste. Lancelot gets the feeling he could also pull away if he wants. But be doesn't want to. The kiss is nice. He likes only thinking about Gawain and nothing else.

When they pull apart Gawain looks quite smug.

"Were you thinking anyone but me?"

"No. You did as you promised," Lancelot says. Not wanting to admit the man is right.

"Good. Perhaps our next kiss will be just as good," he says and they start packing the things away. Gawaine walking him back to the church and Lancelot blushing a bit. 

Lancelot watches him disappear into the saloon and he climbs his tree. We he reaches for the window an arm shoots out and grabs him pulling him roughly inside. Banging his head against the frame and then throwing him to the floor.

"Sinner! You dare let that man defile you. You are filthy with it!" Father shouts and through his panic Lancelot wonders how he knew.

When he catches Iris at the door he knows. She overheard the invitation. And she ran to tell Father.

"Don't you dare glare at a child of God filthy sinner. Allowing him to touch you the way your whore of a mother did!" Father shouts and the switch comes down upon him several times until he can't see through the blood.

"You will be ridden out of of town. Far out of town and left there. If god believes your soul worthy he will grant you the strength to return to town. If you are to be damned then you will die and reside with your mother in hell. Sister Iris please leave. You need not lay eyes upon the sinner anymore."

Footsteps head away from the room.

"Strip him," Father says and Lancelot passes out as the hands lay upon him.

When Lancelot wakes he's bleeding in the dirt. Shivering in the cold of the night. His body hurts and he fears his ankle might be broken. 

The sun is coming up and it's both a blessing and a curse. It means he'll warm up soon, but he will also likely burn and soon be thirsty.

There's no way he will last all the way back to town...does he even want to go back to town? Father can do this again anytime be wants and who knows who else might reveal his secrets like Iris did.

He'll have to live on guard constantly.

That's no life.

But where else would he go? There's no town for miles and he does have some skills but not ones that could earn him a living wage.

He could just stay here. Let the sun and the cold and the animals have him. Father wouldn't miss him. Pym would get some sleep for once. Gawain would be able to find someone new. Everyone would be happy.

Hallucinations must be the first thing to set in with no water. Because he's sure there's is no wagon coming his way. Why would a wagon be this far off the road.

"Lancelot," a voice says and he feels himself being lifted before deposited on a blanket and wrapped in it.

"Is he okay?" A young voices says.

"He will be. Give him a little bit of water. Don't overdo it," the first voice says and Lancelot drifts out again.

He needs sleep.

This time when he regains consciousness he's in a warm bed. Blankets tucked in around him. This is definitely not his room at the church. His bed is hard and his blanket threadbare.

"You're awake. You had us worried," Gawain says sitting on the edge.

"He means you had him worried," the boy he'd seen with Gawian's party says before vanishing through the door.

"What happened?" Lancelot says voice hoarse.

"The girl couldn't resist boasting about removing my sin from church. It didn't take much to guess who she meant. It took me a while to find someone who knew the location of where you were left. Once I did, Squirrel and I went out to rescue you," Gawain says handing him a glass of water.

"Thank you. Where..."

"My room in the hotel. You were in the saloon but Pym said you didn't need medical help anymore. Just rest and water so she sent you with me."

"Fath...Carden?"

"Has no idea where you are. I've been avoiding him and the girl."

"Thank you."

"Of course Lancelot. I'm sorry this happened. I should have been more discreet. After I saw your hands I should have realized what you would deal with if caught."

"I don't regret it...but...I don't know what to do. The church is the only home I have... had."

"You know...every magician needs a attractive assistant. You could be mine. Join us in our travels and help with the performances. We could be your family," Gawain says taking his hand.

"I...don't want to be a burden," Lancelot says.

"No such thing. You'd be family. Family is never a burden," Gawain says and Lancelot finally knows what Pym was trying to tell him the night she treated his wounds. So he takes her advice and thinks about it.

He wants a family.

He wants Gawain.

He wants to belong.

He nearly hurts his neck with the force of his nod.


End file.
